Over the years the PES series has featured some of the most memorable match commentary in video games. From Jon Champion praising the usefulness of a back pass to Mark Lawrenson offering deep psychological insight into how a player ‘needs to have a look at himself’, Konami have consistently produced commentary that at its worst is completely broken, and at its best rivals ‘The Simpsons’ for quotability…

We’d love to know what goes on in that recording studio to produce that special brand of PES commentary. Do Champion and Lawrenson just politely read out whatever is put in front of them, not wanting to cause a fuss? Or, and we know, it’s hard to believe from the way Lawrenson delivers lines with all the passion of a Krusty the Klown voice over, that the duo are just there to pick up their pay checks? A little of column A, a lot more of column B there we think. Whatever the reason, there have been some classics that Alan Partridge would be proud of in recent years…

"Back it goes from whence it came"

Genius. Even better when it reminds you of this.

“Possibilteeee!”

Do they tell Champion to do that type of thing or is that just him ad-libbing?

“The commencement of hostilities, ambulances on stand-by, health insurance policies have been checked, the physios are gonna be really busy ”

Yeah.

"Coaches so often say to players treat the ball as a friend"

Is Arsene Wenger known as ‘the professor’ because he so often says to his talented youngsters, "it's as I so often say boys, treat the ball... as a friend”? To be fair, this is one of those phrases used in real football... in P.E lessons at school... by Geography teachers filling in for P.E teachers. Obviously there is some metaphorical and inspirational quality to the term, as in don't be scared of the ball, etc. But not much. Certainly not enough to warrant it being put on heavy rotation in a state of the art virtual simulation of the beautiful game.

"Back to the old argument about referees who haven't played the game at this level"

Ah, yes, the age old argument... no, wait, that's never been an argument, let alone an age old one. It’s like they don’t care.

If they really are just trying to be funny, maybe they should consider just bringing in Steve Coogan to do some Alan Partridge commentary.

Comment up your faves.