“It was inevitable that I was gonna get him”.

Rio’s words before his attempted ‘merk’ of JT in 2006 now ring ominously true. His wind-up fell through then, Terry instead helping Rio merk another team mate. No, not Wayne Bridge, that would have been even more ominous, but little SWP.

Four years later and it seems as though Captain Rio has finally, inevitably, merked his man. Just like he said he would… Wait a second…

What if this whole affair was all one of Rio’s wind-ups? A super-intricate, diabolical merking years in the making for a special ‘Rio’s World Cup Wind-Up’ on the way to ITV?

Has Rio’s forgetful but harmless persona just been a ‘Verbal’ Kint style act? Is Rio… Keyser Soze?

No.